Being a Mother is a gift. Having children is the most amazing thing that many of us will ever do and I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Being a Mother is also hard. Really really hard. It’s sometimes difficult to admit this because we’re often expected to have a stiff upper lip, stop moaning and just get on with it.
I’ve been thinking recently that one of the most challenging aspects of becoming a mother is that it forces many of us to start hiding for the first time in our lives. And when I say hiding, I mean in both a physical and emotional sense.
Here are some examples of times when both I and the many Mums that I speak to have hidden:
- We’ve hidden our bodies because we’re not happy with how they look now
- We’ve hidden our emotions even though we suspect we may have PND or other mental health problems in case we are seen to be failing as Mums and women
- We’ve hidden in the house to breastfeed because we are too scared to do it in public
- We’ve hidden our fears about giving birth because “It’s something that every woman goes through”
- We’ve hidden our love of clothes and makeup because we’re Mums now and there’s no time for such frivolities.
- We’ve hidden and feared our emotions when experiencing miscarriage.
- We’ve put on a brave face and hidden how hard and exhausting we are finding this motherhood business because everyone else seems to be managing it.
- We’ve hidden our ambition because we feel so guilty about wanting to re-claim our careers
Well I’ve decided it’s time to stop hiding and be seen. It’s time to TALK about how we’re feeling without fear of being judged, to get our milk laden boobs out in public with pride because we are FEEDING and nourishing our babies with them, to ditch the guilt and to bloody well wear bright red lipstick even if we’re in our joggers and sick stained sweaters and it’s time to be confident that we can be who we want to be …career mums/ stay at home mums/ half and half…whatever, without being overwhelmed with guilt.
Let’s stop hiding and bloody well be whoever and whatever we want to be. More on that in tomorrow’s post