It’s been 10 weeks since I came out of the black cloud that turned out to be caused by my under active thyroid. (Although I’m sure that I was suffering from PND too).
I’ve had so much lovely support from you since opening up about the depression and anxiety that made me feel like I couldn’t cope with looking after my own children….very scary feelings indeed. I’ve also heard YOUR stories and can’t believe how many of us go through this. If I’ve learnt anything it’s that we musn’t be afraid to talk about mental health issues. We musn’t be ashamed either. We need to talk to each other, support each other and also know that there is so much help available. I can’t say it often enough but if you feel that you’re not coping don’t keep it locked up inside. See a Dr and they WILL be able to help you sort it.
Anyway, now that I have come out of the other side of that very dark period, I have made two resolutions:
- To stop putting pressure on myself, get rid of my “mummy guilt” and to simply be the best Mum that I can be. I’ll never be Super Mum but I do know that the children are at their happiest when I’m relaxed and smiling.
- To be bright in every aspect of my life. And when I say bright I don’t mean ultra-intelligent (although that would be nice too) but rather to be bold and colourful. In essence this means that I want to be more positive, more open to adventures, less neurotic and on a very basic/material level, to stop wearing black and to embrace bright colours/colour clashes/ bold lipstick. (Think Sharon Horgan in Catastrophe….bloody love her wardrobe!)
Call it a new start/ a midlife crisis or perhaps even a fad, but I’m looking forward to these little changes.
As Mums life is really hard….we must never underestimate that. We lose so much…our bodies, our identities, OUR MINDS. However life is also beautiful and there’s no doubt that having children is the best thing that ever happened to me.
So here’s to being bright!