Neurotic Google Searches

Neurotic Google Searches

From the moment I became a Mama, Google became one of my very best friends.

Who else was willing to abate my worries in the middle of the night? Who else was there with all the answers whenever I needed them?

I was thinking about the sheer amount of utterly ridiculous and embarrassing questions I have asked Google over the past 18 months and thought that it was high time I put fingers to keypad and wrote about them. I’m also going to add that whilst Google can be really useful it can also turn a small worry into a full-blown panic attack. GPs tend to be far more of a calming influence than crazy Dr Google.

Anyway, here you go…some of my neurotic, “I’m a Mum who doesn’t have a clue” Google searches:

1. What temperature should my baby’s nursery be?

2. What do I do if my baby feels cold?

3. What temperature is normal for a baby?

4. What tog gro-bag should my baby wear?

5. How do I get my baby to sleep through the night?

6. Why won’t my baby sit up?

7. What age should babies crawl at?

8. 18 months old and not walking.

9. What should I play with my 12 week old?

10. Best toys for one year olds

11. What should I buy my baby for her first birthday?

12. What should I pack for my baby’s holiday?

13. How to stop a baby crying on a plane

14. What colour should my baby’s poo be?

15. Comfortable maternity bras

16. Big cotton knickers

17. What to do when baby has a blocked up nose

18. How to be a good mother

19. When do people have sex after birth?

20. Are dummies bad for babies?

21. Which nappies are best?

22. What are the words to “Wheels on The Bus”?

23. Best toys for 1/3/4/12/18 month olds etc

24. Cute elf outfit for baby (A First Christmas must have!)

25. How to stop a toddler eating crayons

26. How to stop a toddler throwing food

27. How to stop my toddler from biting me

28. How to get a toddler to sleep in her own cot

29. How to lose half a stone in a week (when I realised that I no longer fitted into my only nice dress a week before a black tie event).

30. Surviving a heatwave with a baby

31. Best lightweight stroller

32. Is Piriton safe?

33. Why does my toddler pinch me?

34. Toddler has eaten bird poo.

35. Can you use anti-bac on a baby?

36. How do I set up my Angelcare monitor?

37. Educational toys for toddlers

38. How to stop a toddler picking her nose

39. What to do during a tantrum

40. Best teething products

41. Why is my toddler refusing to eat?

42. Best Spa for knackered Mums!

etc etc etc

What the hell did my Mum do without the Internet? I honestly don’t know how I’d survive without the non-judgemental answers to my at times ridiculous questions.

How about you? Are you a fan of Dr Google or do you keep as far away as possible?

UFM xx



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