How fondly I remember the days when the word “heatwave” would send a frisson of excitement down my spine. “Bring it on” I’d say as my legs glowed (orange) with freshly applied fake tan, I shimmied around in little summer dresses and sipped on post- work Pimms in fairy-lit beer gardens.
Not any more.
Now I have Poppy and heatwaves are dreaded. They’re hellish. They make me want to weep.
As the heatwave creeps ever closer, here’s (some of) what’s going through my neurotic mind……
– Do I take Poppy outside or stay indoors where it will no doubt be cooler and if we do stay at home, how the hell do I keep her entertained and out of mischief for the ENTIRE DAY??
– If we do venture outside, how do I stop her throwing her damned sunhat on the floor?
– How do I keep her room cool? Why did Mr UFM think I was crazy when I nearly bought a portable air conditioning unit yesterday? Perhaps we could stay in an air-conditioned hotel for a few nights?
– What do I dress her in at night? Just a nappy? Just a vest? A 0.5 tog gro-bag? What if it gets cooler overnight and she’s just in a nappy and gets too cold? Why is this all so confusing??
– What if she’s in an “I don’t want to drink my water” kind of mood? Can I handle spending a day indoors with a toddler who is hyper on juice and ice-lollies?
– Why can’t I be one of those laid back mamas who embraces this kind of weather?
– I suppose I should be grateful I don’t live in Mexico?…..
…..Although if I did I’d probably be more laid back about this heat business?
Sod it! I’m buying the air conditioning unit.
Ps For fellow mamas who are dreading the heat-wave and want some official advice, here’s some useful info from Nhs.co.uk