I couldn’t sleep last night.
To be honest this is a pretty common occurrence at the moment and is mainly thanks to a certain young lady who has taken to shouting “No cot. BED!” in the middle of the night..every night and ends up spread-eagling herself all the way across our bed. (Which is no mean feat as it is huge).
Anyway, last night it was just me and Mr UFM for once and while he slept like a baby (whoever came up with that statement obviously never had a baby), I couldn’t stop tossing and turning.
I was panicking because I couldn’t remember if I had taken a video of Poppy bum-shuffling. As she’s getting more and more enthusiastic about the walking thing, it suddenly struck me that she soon won’t be shuffling any more and that if I haven’t got a video I may actually forget how cute she looks when she does it.
My mind then went into an emotional frenzy as I realised how much I’ve already forgotten. I literally can’t remember the first 3 months of her life. They’re just a tired blur. I look at photos of ‘baby Poppy’ and realise that I’ve forgotten so many of the little details. What did she sound like when she first started giggling? How did I not video that? When did her hair suddenly go from being non-existent to curly? When did she first say Mummy? Why didn’t I write down the date? What did she smell like when she was new-born? It’s just so utterly heart-breaking that I’ve forgotten these things.
There’s something about having a child (particularly a first child people tell me) that makes you want to log everything they say and do so that you never forget. Each moment is so special and so fleeting and by forgetting to capture it you can feel that you have lost it forever. (Well that’s how I felt last night).
There’s a fine line though and I guess that what you don’t want to do is spend all your time taking photos and videos and actually forget to enjoy the very moment that you are capturing.
Is this just me or do you also feel this nagging pressure to capture everything that your child does and says…every milestone no matter how big or small. And do you also feel that little bit of heartbreak when you realise that you have forgotten things?
I think that deep down there is a fear in the realisation that time just goes so unbelievably quickly when you have a child. How many Facebook posts do I see on a daily basis saying “I can’t believe my little girl is 2/3/5/15 already”.
These years are so precious and we need to treasure each and every moment with our little people.
Here are some of my ways of capturing memories:
1. I post videos of Pops to a private setting on my YouTube Channel so they are all in one place.
2. When Pops was born Mr UFM created an email account for her. I email her from time to time and tell her about the exciting things we’ve been doing.
3. When I cut Poppy’s fringe (a terrible day- read all about it here) I kept a lock of hair and put it in her baby book
4. My sister is amazing and always takes loads of photos and videos and sends them to me. My best video is one that she took of Poppy when she was first born and was drinking milk from a cup. I was so exhausted that I never would have thought to video it but it is now so precious to me.