Since being a Mama I have had an aversion to last minute plan changes. Poppy has a lovely little routine going on at the moment and if anyone (apart from Poppy) tries to interrupt it then I’m likely to get a bit uptight and neurotic.
This is an average day in the life of Poppy at 15 months old:
Wake Up: Around 6am
Sleep: midday-2 ish
In The Night Garden
Anyway, yesterday was going really well. Pops was in a fab mood and we were having a good old play before dinner when I got a call from my voice over agent informing me that I was needed “Now” to re-record some lines for a TV ad campaign that I’m fronting at the moment. If I didn’t go then and there I would lose the ad to another voice over artist. It was imperative that I did it today.
“Are you kidding?” I asked him. “I’m sitting here with Poppy, it’s her dinner time soon and I HAVE NO CHILDCARE in place. Their studio is an HOUR away!”
“It’s a last minute emergency and if you don’t do it you really will lose the campaign and the money”, he replied.
SHIT SHIT SHIT – I could not afford to lose this gig. “OK, I’ll call you back”.
At this moment Poppy was trying to get my boobs out of my top which may I add was covered in snot (hers) I also noticed that my short encased legs weren’t exactly smooth.
I called Mr UFM. “What do I do What do I do??” I asked him in a panicked voice, and being the sensible one in our marriage he reminded me that there is a wonderful radio studio where he works which just so happens to be close enough to home that I could (just about) manage to get Pops there and back in time for In The Night Garden.
I called my agent back. “Will they let me record it from another studio and send it over? Pleassssse??”
Well to my utter relief this was OK with the client. I hurriedly made a packed dinner for Pops and whisked her out of the house. It was only when we were ten minutes away from Mr UFM’s office that I caught sight of my reflection in a shop window. I looked absolutely horrendous….hair everywhere, no makeup, the aforementioned snot situation and gross legs. This was not good.
The thing is that when I’m at home with Poppy I just don’t bother with my appearance. There’s no point and more to the point, there’s no time. However, I don’t expect to be seen out in proper public (ie not the local park or Tesco) on such a day and I particularly don’t expect to be meeting Mr UFM’s work colleagues!! As I walked into his office I felt like I had walked in from another planet….planet MUM. Everyone looked so chic and pretty and smelt nice and I was hot, sweaty, harassed and generally dishevelled. It was a bloody nightmare.
Thank goodness everyone was far more interested in Poppy than me and the voice-over went well.
– People without kids don’t understand that you can’t just drop everything at the last minute, even if you did always do this when you were child free.
– Being a freelancer and a mama can be amazing but it can also be a bloody nightmare
– When Mr UFM goes into his meeting room today he may well find squashed avocado and carrot crisps on the floor.
– My current obsession with routine probably isn’t that healthy.
– No mama should ever have to go to her husband’s office without having at least an hour to get herself ready beforehand.
Upfront Mama xx
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